10 Top Ways to be Unprepared for a Zombie Apocalypse, Tips from the Non-preppers bible

Disaster preparedness is serious business.   There is no substitution for being ready.  However, with the words of Mark Twain, “The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter”.  So in memory of Mark Twain I present to you the anti-preparedness program.  Here we discuss ten ways to be totally unprepared for a disaster when it strikes.

1.       Have a dinner party to get rid of all your MRE’s. What better way to cut down on prep time and enjoy meals with friends.

Too good to wait, eat now!

Too good to wait, eat now!

2.       Sell all your guns at a garage sale.  When the Zombie Apocalypse comes I don’t want to be alive anyway. Those guys from Walking Dead are not doing too great.

3.       Dispose of all medicines. Fill our landfills, help bring an end sooner.

4.       Generators… those things are too loud and give me a headache.   Where are you going to get gas anyway?  RaceTrac did finally start accepting American Express.. the end must be near.

5.       Drink all your alcohol, who could possibly save the stuff?  Its wine down Wednesday didn’t you know?

6.       Remodel the underground bunker.. Cut the top off of it and make it a pool!  Invite your girlfriends over and party like there no tomorrow.

7.       YOLO, enough said

8.       First aid kits- use the bandages to make the best mummy Halloween costume. Win the a $50 bar tab

9.       Cut up all your blankets to make clothes for you dog…Quality.

10.   Use every battery to have the best light show in town.

Remember fellow citizens,  “life is the journey not the destination”  Freakin’  ENJOY IT. However, if natural disasters strike and you do survive, call Temporary Repair for a roof tarp. You have survived the storm, now survive the rain.   

This message brought to you by those who love to laugh.  Tarping homes at a disaster near you.